On writer's block and Orphan Black

My name is Steven and I’m a failed writer.

I’ve had a bout of writer’s block. I think you know what I mean. It’s when you start a sentence and then have trouble finishing . . . no, wait . . . find the end to be elusive . . . no, that’s not it . . . and then are unable to . . . screw it. I’m going to go watch another episode of Orphan Black.

To be honest, I’ve not had writer’s block. I just didn’t have anything to say for a while, a rare condition welcomed by friends and family. I actually never get writer’s block and thought I’d share a few secrets of how to escape its grip.

1. Set a daily goal for a reachable number of words. Five hundred is a good number, but 250 works if that’s all you’ve got.

2. Work off an outline. When blocked, go to your outline. Rework it if necessary. Then write your 500 words.

3. If unsure why your main character has inexplicably declared love for someone on page 14 when it shouldn’t have occurred until page 100 (premature exclamation), simply use your best friend — the DELETE key — and then jump to then next part of your story that is compatible with life on the planet you’re creating. (Writing coaches might tell you not to do this, but remember Rule #2 aspiring failed writers: Ignore advice from successful writers and people in the publishing business. Trust that you know more than they do.) Of course, writing as if you are leaping about within some sort of cosmic time-space continuum makes revisions tougher. You have to fix your timeline and avoid abrupt  

breaks in the narrative.

4. Work on more than one project at a time. If your tale of Waldemar and the Martian Invasion bogs down, jump to your blog or perhaps a short story.

5. Read — preferably something outside the genre or subject matter of your project.

6. Give up and watch another episode of Orphan Black.

Right now I’m revising a book and working on another while trying to keep this blog running, and as previously mentioned, I've never had writer's block although last week I watched the entire first season of Orphan Black and am presently on episode four of the current season. At the present pace, I will either catch up with Sarah, Cosima, Alyson, Helena, Rachel, and the rest of the girls early next week or finish one of my writing projects.